A News More Exciting Than Us!

Hello, err’body!

On this lovely Sublime Fridays, Faith and I have an exciting new announcement (no, it’s not another meme XD ). We’ve decided to try something new: we’re going to be reviewing books in French from now on! We will still post the occasional English post but we wanted to branch out and improve our French too, so we thought that this would be a great platform to start! Please excuse our horribleness in French, as it won’t be perfect by any means. So here’s our very first duo French review!

Now, for all you out there panicking out of your minds, yes – you, we have generously provided a Google Translate page for you. But if you’d like, give this page a quick scroll through just to get a taste of how some of our reviews are going to be like from here on out! It’s pretty much just a regular review but we’d love to hear some of your thoughts about it, so please let us know! 🙂
Enjoy!


 

Commentaire (couverture): Les bookbloggers: HAH- c’est plutôt vingt mille lieues sous ma liste de TBR. Moi: Vous êtes trop drôles – je suis vingt mille lieues sous n’importe quel chance d’une vie « normale ».  (Je comprends que j’ai l’air d’une humeur autodérision mais ce sont des bêtises. 😛 )

Pages: 309.23

Publie par: Le chien trop chaud (Pas un hotdog.)

Genres: Français, comédie, comment faire du trolling, les recettes pour les nuls

Résumé:

Il est un chien. Un beau chien. Un chien qui n’a jamais vu le ciel. Il est un triste chien… et c’est tout parce qu’il ne mange pas les aubergines et les asperges. C’est sa faute. Mais un jour, un homme qui s’appelle Captain Nemo, l’a adopté. Ananas a des bananas, mais elle ne veut pas la partager avec le roi Midas. Un chat parle avec un homme : donne-moi un cheval ! Une femme meure à l’âge de soixante-dix-neuf. Il a des yeux oranges. Poopó fait le pipi : mais le plus-que-parfait lui échappe. (F: Est-ce que Sarah a vient de faire une blague elementaire? J’ai tendance à croire que la reponse est oui.) Imparfait, il s’est suicidé. J’ai pleuré: je déteste la couleur rouge.

Les globes oculaires et la fromage.


Nos Pensées:

S: Premièrement, j’aime les feuilles. J’aime beaucoup les feuilles. Ne ramenez jamais une fille du futur chez vous. C’est impoli. Car, évidemment, Rob Ford est mort. Alors, que ferez-vous si votre livre est tombe dans l’eau ? Heureusement, nous avons la copie reliée. Autrement, je fais un discours qui discute les discours des fangirls. C’est vraiment chiant.

Je bois du vin, parfois.

 

F: J’ai une question très philosophique: si les limaces peuvent voler, notre univers va tomber dans un trou noir de désespoir infini. Maintenant, j’ai une autre idée vitale à l’existence de l’humanité : Si le mot « rien » est vraiment rien, pourquoi on utilise un mot pour décrire quelque chose qui n’est pas là? Si « zéro » est vraiment rien, qu’est-ce que c’est cet ovale, là? (Voilà, c’est un beignet : 0) Je sais qu’on a besoin d’un élément de substitution pour représenter les choses inexistantes mais ceux-ci sont les types des trucs qui me réveille dans le milieu de la nuit à cause d’une crise existentielle qui s’appelle les nuls(… uh comme moi.). De plus, c’est un fait que Sarah mange les petits enfants. 🙂

Oui, je sais. Sarah est un monstre sauvage.

S: Mais, est ce que j’ai vraiment aimé le gout du fettuccine Alfredo. Avec l’ail. Et une couleur vert. En vérité, je n’ai pas eu une bonne note en physique. Mais les explosions dans la classe de chimie sont très belles. Les chiens sont laids. LE VER DE TERRE A REPONDU. JE REPETE, LE VER DE TERRE A REPONDU. Conviction comprend.. Échangez  conviction pour Faith. Même dans le désert du Sahara. Nous n’avions jamais visite l’Australie ou les pays de l’Océanie. Si je lis les livres de jeunesse dans mon vieillesse, serai-je jeune?

F: J’AIME LES NARVALS BEAUCOUP AUSSI. Savez-vous que mes larmes sont aigres? C’est vrai par un quart. Tengo muy hambre pero soy demasiado perezoso y tengo sueño también… así que debo detener. (Preferiblemente, ahora.) Las berenjenas y la alga. 

S: Allooooo! Alors, vous devez nous remercier parce que nous avons gâché environ 5.283 minutes de votre vies avec nos talents français horribles – AH ZUT LA GRAMMAIRE je pense que vous savez déjà que ce post n’est pas vraiment un post… Alors, quel jour est-il? POISSON D’AVRIL! Alors, parce que c’est très difficile de faire des blagues physiques sur l’internet, on a essayé de créer un post très bizarre (et drôle, nous espérons) pour vous.

Les lamas sont cools aussi.

F: FELICITATIONS! Vous avez juste survécu la catastrophe qui s’appelle Sublime Reads. C’est toute une blague. Une bêtise. Des bêtises affreusement… fantastiques? Êtes-vous d’accord? 😀 (Toutes mes sources dit non.)


Anyway, that’s it! I hope you’ve all enjoyed this review and may possibly be looking forward to more in the future? If you’ve got any thoughts, comments, brain vomit spewings, talk to us!

~Sarah & Faith

 

 

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14 thoughts on “A News More Exciting Than Us!

  1. Paul @ The Galaxial Word says:

    Oh right, Canada is a French speaking nation, isn’t it?? I dunno. I did French 2 years ago and promptly forget how to say everything except for “cake” and “You peasant.” Oh, and I remember how to say: “I want to eat”. That’s about it. I have no idea what you just said and Google Translate is about as much help as… uhhh… my grandmother. And she lives in Vietnam. And definitely doesn’t speak Fre-

    Wait a minute. Wasn’t there that whole thing about French taking over Vietnam and stuff? Or was that a really long time ago. I wonder if she would know any French. That would be so weird.

    Also. Look at what Google Translate gave me:

    “It’s a dog. A beautiful dog. A dog who has never seen the sky. It is a sad dog … and that’s because he does not eat eggplant and asparagus. It’s his fault. But one day a man called Captain Nemo, adopted it. Pineapples are bananas, but she does not want to share it with King Midas. A cat talking with a man Give me a horse! A woman dies at the age of seventy nine. It has orange eyes. Poopó does pee, but the most perfect escape him. (F: Did Sarah just made a joke elementary I tend to believe that the answer is yes.) Imperfect, he committed suicide. I cried: I hate the color red.”

    I’m not even sure if this is what you intended to write. I mean, it doesn’t sound like something you’d usually write, but I dunno. You might?

    Liked by 1 person

    • sublimereads says:

      For a second I was like GASPP did he just beat my comment length writing record??!! Then, I was like… oh.
      Anyway, we’re mainly English-speaking but most people have to learn a bit of French. There IS a French province so once you cross the border all the fast food chains and stores are in another language so you’re like UH WHERE AM I… HELLPPP. Yay Canada and stuffs. Multiculturalism and bilingual-ness.

      Okay although you don’t speak French, at least if you’re in a bakery and you’re hungry and people are insulting your language abilities, you know how to say “I WANT TO EAT CAKE, YOU PEASANT.” That would probably end things quickly. Hey, it’d be cool if your grandma could speak French. BUT DO I LOOK LIKE A HISTORY GENIUS TO YO- I kid, I kid. But I do not grandparent.

      Paul Paul Paul Paul… did you read the entire thing translated?? XD I have a feeling you read like a few sentences and then gave up. Excuse me if I’m still laughing way too hard. Here, I’ll give you a few seconds to go back to the page and scroll down to the bottom to read the last few paragraphs.

      Happy April Fools!!! WE GOTCHA, RIGHT? 😀 Actually, for good measure, I even added a line of Spanish hehehehe. And since you would’ve read this AFTER April 1st, it’s ok to be confused. AHAHAHA SORRY… We were JK TROLLING. (Get it? Jk like joking… you get the rest.)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Paul @ The Galaxial Word says:

        OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT ARGARGHAHRGHARH capslock game intensifies

        YOU GOT ME SO BADLY. I was like. Um, interesting? Sure. Why not. I’m sure some people out there know how to read French, right? I’m just one of the uncultured swines who don’t.

        YES. I translated the first paragraph. And I was like. Um. This isn’t working. Then I gave up and threw my computer across the room. Okay, that’s a lie. I would never through my VERY EXPENSIVE computer. I just kinda put it down aggressively on the carpet and then picked it up again.

        ARGAHRGHAEHGAKDJGHAOEHASASLDBJGALSKDHGF you got me so bad damnit. I will seek revenge… NEXT YEAR.

        Liked by 1 person

        • sublimereads says:

          MWA HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHHAHAH AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN SUSPECT A THING. We’re just kind of proud. A weensy bit. * evilly smirks and continues cackling until the end of time * :3

          HAH. HAH. HA- tbh we were only slightly offended that you thought we would post completely incoherent jumbles of words. We do but. Eh. 😉

          I JELLYBEANING KNEW IT. AGAIN. Just like I know everything. (All hail to the all-knowing Faith. On the topic of hail, it’s April… which means April showers bring May flowers but guess what? We’re into the 2nd week of spring and IT HAILED TODAY. Hail as in “pellets of frozen rain that fall in showers from cumulonimbus clouds.” So I guess it IS a shower. It was epic, not gonna lie.) I can imagine it though. * After 2 seconds of trying to decipher this complex code of a post… RAGE QUITS * You’re like, “Sorry guys, but I’m done. Bye. Got no patience because I ain’t a doctor.” XD (Ayooooooooo My friend made that one up. I was too proud. But then again, I was the only one laughing as per usual.)

          HAHH AHAHA VICTORY! We probably won’t get over this success until we’re 90. And OH NOOOO we are SO terrified of your revenge… * inserts mocking sarcasm and poses like that guy in the Scream painting * Heh. Adios, amigo. Until next year, we’ll be waiting.

          Liked by 1 person

    • sublimereads says:

      Merci beaucoup!! I know, it made absolutely NO SENSE. And that was the point but I guess no one got it so everyone just ran away from that post hahaha. We are pretty crazy if I do say so myself. 😉
      YAY, thanks for the offer it’s much appreciated hehe ^-^

      Liked by 1 person

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