We’re The Sorting Hat: Rip It Or Ship It (Part 1)

Helloooooo everyone! Today, we become the Sorting Hat ;)

This week, we are participating in one of the more popular, recent tags… RIP IT OR SHIP IT! We decided to put in our favourite and most despised characters on paper, where we cut them up (the names NOT the characters, though we may have liked to haha – no murderous thoughts indeed) and took turns (alternating) to randomly draw them.

We now present to you our reactions to our character combinations… at times cute or simply strange and others… just flat out disturbing. We hope you enjoy as we play matchmaker, putting our Sorting Hat abilities to the test and introducing poor characters to their very own doom (or their future fiance(e)s)! 

Disclaimer: Sarah blames Faith for most of these 😉

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Round 1: Kell (Shades of Magic) & Levana (The Lunar Chronicles)

S: LMAO. WOW FAITH. Way to go. The very first draw is the match from hell. I got one thing to say about this:

F: WHAT EVEN IS THIS SORCERY?!! IT’S WITCHCRAF- no wait, Kell is a magician and Levana does have an uncanny ability… so technically… let’s not linger any longer on these torturous thoughts.

I ship this one as much as I ship the Argo 2 with the Titanic. PLEASE NO and I DON’T THINK IT WILL WORK. But it would be hilarious to see them try. I mean if Kell was of any importance to Levana, she’d sweet talk him easier than he can draw magical blood. At the same time, I kind of want their meeting to happen because if you think about it, they’re quite the worthy opponents. They’re both arrogant and Kell has pretty amazing abilities. I’d ship this just to see it.

S: Ok, so Faith basically wants a brawl. Way to go 😀

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Round 2: Khalid (The Wrath and The Dawn) & Annabeth (Percy Jackson)

S: No offense to Sharazad… but Annabeth would kick his ass if he tried to pull that possessive shit. And Annabeth wouldn’t waste her time telling him stories. By the end of the first day, she would have had an escape plan XD (F: SO. MUCH. TRUTH.)

F: Annabeth wouldn’t stand him. He’s kind of clingy (in a sense) and if she ever had to tell him a bedtime story, she’d tell him about how Kronos ate his kids while sending out subtle hints that if he ever laid a hand on her, he’d have to say goodbye to her tolerating persona within a matter of seconds. Oh and of course, she’d be simultaneously plotting her breakout. Basically, what Sarah said but reiterated. 

Pretty accurate, I’ll say.

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Round 3: Voldemort (Harry Potter) & Leo (Heroes of Olympus)

S: Really, Faith? AGAIN? WHY DO YOU DO THIS I NEED TO PROTECT MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS >.<

F: HAH. LEO THE POOR, POOR SOUL. He’d be captured, tortured, and turned into Voldy’s minion within seconds. BUT I’m sure Leo is smart enough to somehow manage himself… he’ll salvage random materials and build a contraption that would fly him far, far away to Camp Half Blood. Wow, I’m impressed, both the greatest villains are already out within the first three matches. 

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Round 4: Lara Jean (P.S I Love You)) & Wolf (Lunar Chronicles)

S: I mean, Lara Jean didn’t deserve Peter, who was literally one of the nicest YA boys ever, so I’m personally hoping Wolf either kills her, or shakes some sense into this brat.

F: This pairing might work. But maybe Lara Jean is too naive for all of Wolf’s toughness. So maybe it won’t work. I can imagine this as some sort of tough love siblingship. 

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Round 5: Ron (Harry Potter) & Piper

S: Faith strikes again. I can’t even imagine this, tbh

FAITH Y U DO THIS?

F: Uhh I really don’t know about this one. Would it…? Maybe? AHA! Their ship name would be Riper… so perhaps they would make a sweet PEAR after all! (Get it 😀 Pear = Pair? Hahaha okay nothing else to see here, moving on!)

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Round 6: Warner (Shatter Me) & Calypso (Heroes of Olympus)

S: My bad.

F: Same, girl, same.

I’d love to see how that goes down. A complete and utter, scary prick and a sweetie like Calypso. RIP BABE.

F: Calypso should make a device to push creeps/undesirable guys off her island and it’ll basically be problem solved because chances are, they’ll never find her again. I’m not too much of a fan of this pairing. Eh. 

You know, I think I know why Warner is so Warner. It’s literally in his name! It’s a WARNer to all the girls out there… (too bad Juliette didn’t get the hint. 😛 I mean, yes, I’ve only read the first book but sometimes I’m like, “GIRL WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO- DO SOMETHING!!!”)

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Round 7: Peter (P.S I Love You) & Eleanor (Eleanor and Park)

S: I THINK THIS WOULD BE SO CUTE ❤

F: OH YES. I THINK THIS WOULD WORK. (Shouting because so far it seemed like the unlucky pairs were just being chosen by the hands of plain horrid- oh wait, it’s us.) Anyone else? Peter’s pretty nice and probably quite accepting of Eleanor’s quirkiness and she is somewhat timid and bold so this might make for an interesting story!

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Round 8: Hermione (Harry Potter) &  Lila (Shades of Magic)

S: I honestly think this could go both ways: friendship and romantically. Both are strong, independant and BADASS gals, so I feel that they would have very amusing interactions.

F: Maybe they’d be best friends! Like homework and battle buddies. Lila would try to attempt using some sort of magical weapon and Hermoine would be like, “Noooo, you’re doing it all wrong!” and boss her around. Then when Lila has had enough of it, she would whip her head around viciously, and pull out one of her many knives saying, “Okay, FIGHT ME.” Perhaps Hermoine would roll her eyes and say something that continues to tick Lila off who will then stalk out of the room furious. 

But truthfully, I think Annabeth, Hermoine, and Lila NEED to be in a friend group together. It would be the ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP. You’ve got all the brains and skills you could ever need!! They probably met at a camp called How To Be A Kickbutt Heroine which they had all secretly attended before their “current” lives. They’d share tips on how to fight and outsmart their way out of any meeting-death-on-a-cliff-in-the-face situation.

Otherwise, their personalities would clash because their competitive streaks would definitely reveal itself. All three of them would be the leading members at Camp How To Be A Kickbutt Heroine and they’d always find themselves in fights with each other as enemies. It’d be like the Parent Trap. You know, endless cabin pranks at night… except they wouldn’t be strutting around with a posse and a clique trailing from behind. No, they’re independent. They would be stalking the camp grounds with a bunch of magic in tow and knives/daggers strapped to their boots. They’d both be fighting like there’s no tomorrow.

Sorry, I MAY have slightly gotten out of hand over here. Hehehe… * laughter trails off dejectedly once again, as always *

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Round 9: Achilles (The Song of Achilles) & Alucard (Shades of Magic)

S: Although I think Achilles and Patroclus are the only endgame, I think that this would work out… as a fling. Both these boys are flighty (and imo, need their own, devoted worshippers/other partner). The chemistry is there… but you need more than that for a prosperous relationship. (Look at me, giving relationship advice! XD ) (F: What you just said just reminded me of my anthropology stuff. You know, Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. YES PEOPLE, LOVE HAS A FORMULA.) 

Psychology 101: Essentially, what Sternberg is trying to prove is that consummate love is what you need for a successfully prosperous relationship/marriage. Something like that.

F: I haven’t read The Song of Achilles so I can’t really say. But Alucard is definitely a flirt AND he’s powerful so he would be able to work something out if he really wanted to.

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Round 10: Agnieszka (Uprooted) & Thorne (Lunar Chronicles)

S: They’d make good friends and rule-breakers. But romantically? Naw.

F: Nopitty nope nope. Thorne is so arrogant though… he and Alucard would have a good time trying to out-arrogant each other. Though truthfully, Alucard would probably win because he’s wayyyyy over-confident and actually magically gifted… and he definitely knows it. Meanwhile, Thorne just tries to get the girls. Sorry man, but it’s a tough world out there trying to woo the girls without awesome magic. 

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Round 11: Simon (Carry On) & Aristotle (Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe)

S: ERMIGHD THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE!!!! Simon would balance out Ari’s serious nature, and they would have so much fun! YES! (F: And Sarah’s little fangirl heart sings while flying off and disappearing into the sky. Thank me, Sarah. But is Aristotle like another non-evil Baz?)
F: I haven’t read Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe either sooooo I do not know. Only fate will tell. (For now, I’ll have to have faith in Sarah. Yes, I too, am screaming in agony form my own excessive and torturous use of my name. But. Sometimes, it’s too good to pass up even when it gets annoying. XD )

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This marks the end of our first Sorting Hat post! We’ve realized that we didn’t actually say if we ripped or shipped anything but I guess we’re just too lazy to get off of our fence. 😛 And yes, we have ended at Round 11. Not 10, not 12, not even 9 (which is slightly better) but eleven. Maybe it’s because we’re feeling particularly feisty or maybe it’s because Sarah * ahem * randomly chose 11 rounds to post.

Either way, how did you feel about this? Who’s your ultimate ship? (Preferably something good. For example, not the Titanic because that’s one that definitely went down… pretty badly.) Thanks for joining! 🙂

~ Sarah & Faith

If you’re reading this, here’s a bag full of sunshine, rainbows, and smiles! But because we know that being overly positive is not always necessarily what you need, we’ve packed some chocolate too. And a warm drink. Just in case.