LIE DETECTOR-ING MYSELF

Courtesy of Becca. She is so hilarious: y’all need to go follow her immediately. Like, you will thank me, then ignore this blog in favor of her humor.

I, Sarah, am basically following her lead, so here I go!

(Faith: Featuring me and more GIFs than your Christmas GIFts! Actually, no. I hope you had tons of gifts. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, gifts are nice. 🙂 )


Sarah 6.0: State your full name, please

Sarah 7.0:  – – – – –     – – – – – – –   – – – –   – – – –   – –  – – – – –  

Sarah 6.0: … Why is it all blacked out?

Sarah 7.0: Because it’s my real name. My full, legal name. All 27 letters.

Sarah 6.0: Why … 27 letters?

Sarah 7.0: I like to blame my Arab parents. We have a thing for long names with lots of a’s.

Sarah 6.0: Then why is your first name blacked out? Surely nothing bad can come out of putting 5 letters on a website. Besides, it’s like written 50 times in this page alone.

Sarah 7.0: That’s that thing… It’s not my real name.

Sarah 6.0:

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So you’ve been lying to us the whole time. Wow, SARAH , thanks for the trust.

(F: She’s the opposite of me. Alright, to all Sarah’s peeps: you can now all come over to my sideee… you can have FAITH that I’m a truth-teller. Faithfulness is (literally) my first name. [And actually, my middle name is another adjective. BEAT THAT, WORD NERDS! Uh, I mean, isn’t that kinda cool? If you feel like caring?] Important side note: I’m probably naming my children Joy and possibly Hope. I named my beta fish Happy once… then I found him curled up in the corner of his tank one day. He wasn’t so happy anymore.)

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F: Now, here’s a Christmas GIFt. 😉

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF SHE REALLY LOVED THE BOOKS SHE LIKED? MY 7.0 version is a lie! What if she’s a figment of Faith’s imagination? #blogception (F: Right. Because I talk to myself. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.)

Sarah 7.0:

125612-well-when-you-put-it-that-way-baic#sorrynotsorry

(Bonus: any one who can guess my real name (it’s an anagram, btw) will not get a prize, but a shout out and an interview with SARAH trails of into maniacal laughter)
Ahem, let us move on.

Sarah 6.0: Why have you been so inactive in the blogosphere as of late?

Sarah 7.0: … But I’ve been active. Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?

Sarah 6.0: I’m not talking about posting, dummy. (I swear, I get dumber with every reincarnation). I’m asking you why you are so… not verbose. I mean, look at Faith. She comments paragraphs wherever she goes, and manages to spread rainbow vomit and unicorn farts no matter how tired she is. Paul and Yarravy agree with me, right?

Sarah 7.0:

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I’M SORRY I’M SHY, OKAY? I mean, it’s hard to think up of comments. I mean, do you want to know how Faith and I became friends? DO YOU? (F: It was… terrifying to say the least. Also, on the outside I think we make for a kinda unlikely pair.)

Sarah 6.0: Uh, no. But if you could answer my original question, that would be great.

Sarah 7.0: I WAS SO WEIRD BACK IN YEAR 9 THAT I NUMBERED ALL MY NEW FRIENDS. Wives 1-69. That’s right. WIVES. We still laugh about it now. (F: AHHHH THE BEANS HAVE FINALLY BEEN SPILLED! I actually get nightmares about it now. I think I was around no.18?? #stillscarredtothisday)

Sarah 6.0:… What was the point of that tangent? (F: Wait, what point? There’s many points in a graph for a tangent function… )

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If you are lost looking at the image, don’t worry, I was too. And I still am. I DID SO HORRIBLY ON THESE I’m getting stressed looking at this. Math is not my strong suit. (I was more of an “ace of spades” than an “ace of hearts”. I didn’t heart math. I aimlessly stabbed at it with my rusty metal spade. You can tell that I really aced math.) Pun count: 1348 Way too many puns on puns.

Sarah 7.0: TO SHOW YOU HOW AWKWARD AND SOCIALLY INEPT AND COMPLETELY UN-VERBOSE I  AM. MOVING ON.

Sarah 6.0: …What are your pet peeves? The tl:dr version please. (F: THE IRONY. I had to Google what tldr was… no comment. ACTUALLY here’s my comment: EVERYTHING I SAY is probably marked tldr by someone out there. XD )

Sarah 7.0: Well. I hate Mexicans, burritos, tacos, books, Faith

Sarah 6.0: –

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WAIT WHAT?!?

Sarah 7.0: Hm? Was it something I said?

Sarah 6.0: Wha- How- Why- HOW DO YOU HATE BURRITOS? And what did them Mexicans do to you? Sarah, I swear, if you have been reincarnated as some racist Donald Trump supporter, I will end my life (and yours) with my BARE HANDS! I mean, you can’t just go and say that on a blog? What would your mother think? Honestly, I’m so disa-

Sarah 7.0: I WAS JOKING! (F: Dude. Girl. Sarah. Whatever your name even is. You don’t joke about that stuff. YOU DON’T JOKE ABOUT HATING BOOKS. Off limitos. Oh yeah, and there’s me. Don’t hate me.)

Sarah 6.0:

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Sarah 7.0: Jeez, I was just trying to keep you guys on your toes…

Sarah 6.0: -_- *sighs* Just answer the question already.

Sarah 7.0: I hate bent book covers, winter coats, weather above 25 degrees (CELSIUS XD ), School, and Faith. I wasn’t joking about that 😉 aaaaaaaaaand racial profiling.

Sarah 6.0: Wait, why do you hate racial profiling? (F: Buuuuuuuut you don’t mention why you hate Faith. Right. Or left because I’m left handed. Just curious, who’s left handed out there?? * raises left hand *)

Sarah 7.0: Before I wore my head scarf, people would take turns guessing where I’m from. Like I’d get every country on that map (oddly enough, except where I’m actually from). UK, Australia, Russia, Brazil, South Africa, Chile, Morocco, Spain, India… you name it, somebodies guessed it (excluding Japan, and China – I have been asked if I’m half Korean). People would look at my hair and ask me if I was half- insert ethnicity here. It was pretty annoying after the first time. Though, now I only deal with TSA/Airport security checks every single time I fly internationally. #arabgirlproblems

Sarah 6.0:.. So where are you from?

Sarah 7.0: Egypt. You know, just in case I haven’t mentioned it a billion times already.

Sarah 6.0: Ohhhh, so can you speak Egyptian? (F: HAH. I can. Pyramids, sphinxes, desert, murderous heat – am I an honorary Egyptian yet???)

Sarah 7.0:

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This is for you, Faith. Though yes, I now deem you an honorary Egyptian. 😀

Do you mean Arabic?

Sarah 6.0: Wait, so Egyptian isn’t a thing?

Sarah 7.0: No, and no one but Egyptologists can read ancient hieroglyphs. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed. I can, however, read to you in a nice french accent and talk to you in Egyptian slang…

Sarah 6.0: Hold your shade, girl… no one sasses me.

Sarah 7.0:

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Sarah 7.0 locking Sarah 6.0 out.

Sarah 6.0:

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Breaking back in.

Sarah 7.0: Can we just continue with the questions before this post deteriorates even more? (F: Too late.)

Sarah 6.0: What are your favourite things?

Sarah 7.0: … Can you be more specific? Favourite books? Movies? Shows? Colours? Foods? Murder Methods? (F: Short and easy answer to regain our friendship = Faith)

Sarah 6.0: … Do you have any siblings?

Sarah 7.0: Yes. Them-Three-Who-Shalt-Not-Be-Named. (F: Name suggestions for hidden identities: Thing 1, 2, and 3? Is that mean? It’s definitely not median or mode, though. I think it’s kinda cute and hilarious. DR. SEUSS YA KNOW??)

Sarah 6.0: Why must they not be named?

Sarah 7.0: Do you want to read lines of blacked out names? Cuz we all got five names. And they already stalk the blog enough as it is. I don’t need to give them more fodder. (F: Huh, they read our blog? Shoot. WHY?! They’re going to be reading some misconceived ideas about me… I’M NOT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY AND I DON’T SHOUT ALL THE TIME! Though I just did.)

Sarah 6.0: I see you have a … very loving relationship.

Sarah 7.0:

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We are.

Savages. We are so cruel to each other it’s actually pretty funny.

Sarah 6.0: bb9e877c1dca4fcb5d74bf437a178fb5-279x240x6

Sarah 7.0: Do you want to hear about the time we wrecked-

Sarah 6.0: – OKAY. It’s Sarah’s bed time, so GOOD DAY AND NIGHT FOLKS! We sure hoped you enjoyed this utterly random post: be sure to check out Becca’s original post.

Sarah 7.0: MMMH HMM MHMM HHMH MMMMM

Sarah 6.0:

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Sarah 6.0: We’d like to nominate you, dear reader, to interrogate yourself and enjoy the madness!

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