LIE DETECTOR-ING MYSELF

Courtesy of Becca. She is so hilarious: y’all need to go follow her immediately. Like, you will thank me, then ignore this blog in favor of her humor.

I, Sarah, am basically following her lead, so here I go!

(Faith: Featuring me and more GIFs than your Christmas GIFts! Actually, no. I hope you had tons of gifts. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, gifts are nice. 🙂 )


Sarah 6.0: State your full name, please

Sarah 7.0:  – – – – –     – – – – – – –   – – – –   – – – –   – –  – – – – –  

Sarah 6.0: … Why is it all blacked out?

Sarah 7.0: Because it’s my real name. My full, legal name. All 27 letters.

Sarah 6.0: Why … 27 letters?

Sarah 7.0: I like to blame my Arab parents. We have a thing for long names with lots of a’s.

Sarah 6.0: Then why is your first name blacked out? Surely nothing bad can come out of putting 5 letters on a website. Besides, it’s like written 50 times in this page alone.

Sarah 7.0: That’s that thing… It’s not my real name.

Sarah 6.0:

tumblr_mexnor5gpu1rbe9qf
So you’ve been lying to us the whole time. Wow, SARAH , thanks for the trust.

(F: She’s the opposite of me. Alright, to all Sarah’s peeps: you can now all come over to my sideee… you can have FAITH that I’m a truth-teller. Faithfulness is (literally) my first name. [And actually, my middle name is another adjective. BEAT THAT, WORD NERDS! Uh, I mean, isn’t that kinda cool? If you feel like caring?] Important side note: I’m probably naming my children Joy and possibly Hope. I named my beta fish Happy once… then I found him curled up in the corner of his tank one day. He wasn’t so happy anymore.)

throneoflies_elf

F: Now, here’s a Christmas GIFt. 😉

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF SHE REALLY LOVED THE BOOKS SHE LIKED? MY 7.0 version is a lie! What if she’s a figment of Faith’s imagination? #blogception (F: Right. Because I talk to myself. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.)

Sarah 7.0:

125612-well-when-you-put-it-that-way-baic#sorrynotsorry

(Bonus: any one who can guess my real name (it’s an anagram, btw) will not get a prize, but a shout out and an interview with SARAH trails of into maniacal laughter)
Ahem, let us move on.

Sarah 6.0: Why have you been so inactive in the blogosphere as of late?

Sarah 7.0: … But I’ve been active. Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?

Sarah 6.0: I’m not talking about posting, dummy. (I swear, I get dumber with every reincarnation). I’m asking you why you are so… not verbose. I mean, look at Faith. She comments paragraphs wherever she goes, and manages to spread rainbow vomit and unicorn farts no matter how tired she is. Paul and Yarravy agree with me, right?

Sarah 7.0:

tumblr_lv8d3ljood1qd33mao1_500

I’M SORRY I’M SHY, OKAY? I mean, it’s hard to think up of comments. I mean, do you want to know how Faith and I became friends? DO YOU? (F: It was… terrifying to say the least. Also, on the outside I think we make for a kinda unlikely pair.)

Sarah 6.0: Uh, no. But if you could answer my original question, that would be great.

Sarah 7.0: I WAS SO WEIRD BACK IN YEAR 9 THAT I NUMBERED ALL MY NEW FRIENDS. Wives 1-69. That’s right. WIVES. We still laugh about it now. (F: AHHHH THE BEANS HAVE FINALLY BEEN SPILLED! I actually get nightmares about it now. I think I was around no.18?? #stillscarredtothisday)

Sarah 6.0:… What was the point of that tangent? (F: Wait, what point? There’s many points in a graph for a tangent function… )

tangent-pi

If you are lost looking at the image, don’t worry, I was too. And I still am. I DID SO HORRIBLY ON THESE I’m getting stressed looking at this. Math is not my strong suit. (I was more of an “ace of spades” than an “ace of hearts”. I didn’t heart math. I aimlessly stabbed at it with my rusty metal spade. You can tell that I really aced math.) Pun count: 1348 Way too many puns on puns.

Sarah 7.0: TO SHOW YOU HOW AWKWARD AND SOCIALLY INEPT AND COMPLETELY UN-VERBOSE I  AM. MOVING ON.

Sarah 6.0: …What are your pet peeves? The tl:dr version please. (F: THE IRONY. I had to Google what tldr was… no comment. ACTUALLY here’s my comment: EVERYTHING I SAY is probably marked tldr by someone out there. XD )

Sarah 7.0: Well. I hate Mexicans, burritos, tacos, books, Faith

Sarah 6.0: –

tumblr_nsb3kntct71re3x32o1_500

WAIT WHAT?!?

Sarah 7.0: Hm? Was it something I said?

Sarah 6.0: Wha- How- Why- HOW DO YOU HATE BURRITOS? And what did them Mexicans do to you? Sarah, I swear, if you have been reincarnated as some racist Donald Trump supporter, I will end my life (and yours) with my BARE HANDS! I mean, you can’t just go and say that on a blog? What would your mother think? Honestly, I’m so disa-

Sarah 7.0: I WAS JOKING! (F: Dude. Girl. Sarah. Whatever your name even is. You don’t joke about that stuff. YOU DON’T JOKE ABOUT HATING BOOKS. Off limitos. Oh yeah, and there’s me. Don’t hate me.)

Sarah 6.0:

tumblr_mdlzwydyot1qkhd9i

Sarah 7.0: Jeez, I was just trying to keep you guys on your toes…

Sarah 6.0: -_- *sighs* Just answer the question already.

Sarah 7.0: I hate bent book covers, winter coats, weather above 25 degrees (CELSIUS XD ), School, and Faith. I wasn’t joking about that 😉 aaaaaaaaaand racial profiling.

Sarah 6.0: Wait, why do you hate racial profiling? (F: Buuuuuuuut you don’t mention why you hate Faith. Right. Or left because I’m left handed. Just curious, who’s left handed out there?? * raises left hand *)

Sarah 7.0: Before I wore my head scarf, people would take turns guessing where I’m from. Like I’d get every country on that map (oddly enough, except where I’m actually from). UK, Australia, Russia, Brazil, South Africa, Chile, Morocco, Spain, India… you name it, somebodies guessed it (excluding Japan, and China – I have been asked if I’m half Korean). People would look at my hair and ask me if I was half- insert ethnicity here. It was pretty annoying after the first time. Though, now I only deal with TSA/Airport security checks every single time I fly internationally. #arabgirlproblems

Sarah 6.0:.. So where are you from?

Sarah 7.0: Egypt. You know, just in case I haven’t mentioned it a billion times already.

Sarah 6.0: Ohhhh, so can you speak Egyptian? (F: HAH. I can. Pyramids, sphinxes, desert, murderous heat – am I an honorary Egyptian yet???)

Sarah 7.0:

12wpelekteojuy

This is for you, Faith. Though yes, I now deem you an honorary Egyptian. 😀

Do you mean Arabic?

Sarah 6.0: Wait, so Egyptian isn’t a thing?

Sarah 7.0: No, and no one but Egyptologists can read ancient hieroglyphs. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed. I can, however, read to you in a nice french accent and talk to you in Egyptian slang…

Sarah 6.0: Hold your shade, girl… no one sasses me.

Sarah 7.0:

giphy3

Sarah 7.0 locking Sarah 6.0 out.

Sarah 6.0:

tumblr_inline_mzo181ro3h1re3w10

Breaking back in.

Sarah 7.0: Can we just continue with the questions before this post deteriorates even more? (F: Too late.)

Sarah 6.0: What are your favourite things?

Sarah 7.0: … Can you be more specific? Favourite books? Movies? Shows? Colours? Foods? Murder Methods? (F: Short and easy answer to regain our friendship = Faith)

Sarah 6.0: … Do you have any siblings?

Sarah 7.0: Yes. Them-Three-Who-Shalt-Not-Be-Named. (F: Name suggestions for hidden identities: Thing 1, 2, and 3? Is that mean? It’s definitely not median or mode, though. I think it’s kinda cute and hilarious. DR. SEUSS YA KNOW??)

Sarah 6.0: Why must they not be named?

Sarah 7.0: Do you want to read lines of blacked out names? Cuz we all got five names. And they already stalk the blog enough as it is. I don’t need to give them more fodder. (F: Huh, they read our blog? Shoot. WHY?! They’re going to be reading some misconceived ideas about me… I’M NOT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY AND I DON’T SHOUT ALL THE TIME! Though I just did.)

Sarah 6.0: I see you have a … very loving relationship.

Sarah 7.0:

large

We are.

Savages. We are so cruel to each other it’s actually pretty funny.

Sarah 6.0: bb9e877c1dca4fcb5d74bf437a178fb5-279x240x6

Sarah 7.0: Do you want to hear about the time we wrecked-

Sarah 6.0: – OKAY. It’s Sarah’s bed time, so GOOD DAY AND NIGHT FOLKS! We sure hoped you enjoyed this utterly random post: be sure to check out Becca’s original post.

Sarah 7.0: MMMH HMM MHMM HHMH MMMMM

Sarah 6.0:

shut-your-mouth-gif

Sarah 6.0: We’d like to nominate you, dear reader, to interrogate yourself and enjoy the madness!

Lie Detector Banner

 

White Pine Wednesdays: Delusion Road

Hello world!

Now that you have recovered from our April Fool’s post, we are back to our regularly scheduled (and well written 😉 ) posts!

23590704

This week, I’ll be reviewing Delusion Road… which is actually harder than it sounds. Trying to type this out reminds me of something Paul once said (I can’t find the post right now): it wasn’t a terrible book, it was just… meh. Forgettable. It was enjoyable enough that I finished it without feeling like I was slogging/obliged to read it, but at the same time, it was missing that thing that would have me rate it higher.

It was a solid book all round: even though it was filled with cliches (just look at that summary: I dare you not to roll your eyes). However, it was solid: especially with the character development. Even if the plot was sort of boring, the character arcs (and how they grew) were very interesting. I didn’t hate any characters (which surprises me) as they all had something to add. If anything, the occasional predictability made it comfortable.

This is the kind of book that you have to read in a certain mood, otherwise it feels really meh. I enjoyed the easy style of writing and plot, but it was missing something essential. (The mean, sarcastic person in me says “originality”.)

Even so, I would rate this book 3 out of 5 stars.

~ Sarah

(And I’m really sorry about the short review, but balancing procrastination, building a crane out of popsicles and an English-cum-media assignment/presentation – due on Friday, but assigned on Tuesday – is stressing me out)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Which Wednesday: Sisters

Ah, sisters. The bane of their siblings existence and a perpetual annoyance. The reasons why Katniss volunteered for the Hunger Games, the letters were sent (in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before) and general drama. (Also the reason my parents found out I was blogging. Thanks). I myself have a sister – I think that the world (at least mine) would be a lot better without one.

Here’s to you, you little monster.

(PS I would have never volunteered in the Hunger Games for you.)

Today I will be comparing Blood Red Road and My Sisters Keeper. If you did a double take, then you’d be right, as these books actually have very little in common. However, I’m stuck for ideas currently, so if you guys have any topics/themes, PLEASE COMMENT THEM (#desperate #thirstyandIknowit). Continue reading

White Pine Wednesdays: The Outside Circle

Howdy peeps XD


Today, I will completely disappoint Paul (nothing really funny here, sorry) and post a “boring” review. Whilst it may not be the most “rainbows and sunshine” of reviews, this book still shines a light – on some of Canada’s more shaded issues.
My sixth review will be over the very first graphic novel nominee this year (the very first and very only, actually).

Continue reading

White Pine Wednesday: Rabbit Ears

This week, I’ll be talking about Rabbit Ears, by Maggie de Vries.

18053322


Initial thoughts:

Well. The cover looks familiar (Delusion Road, TAOGSA and Brannan filter), but that’s just me. This also deals with sex, albeit sex work, and looks very, very, very sad. I’ll save this until I’m being annoying. It’ll probably shut me up quick. But anyway, the Robert Pickton (aka the most infamous Canadian serial killer) twist (and the real life relation) are certainly unexpected… I’d like to see how this goes.


After Reading:

Some stories are hard to tell. Some stories are hard to listen to. Some stories are hard to read. Some stories are unsettling, uncomfortable and upsetting. Rabbit Ears is all of theses and more. It deserves to be read, at the very least. Continue reading