We’re The Sorting Hat: Rip It Or Ship It (Part 1)

Helloooooo everyone! Today, we become the Sorting Hat ;)

This week, we are participating in one of the more popular, recent tags… RIP IT OR SHIP IT! We decided to put in our favourite and most despised characters on paper, where we cut them up (the names NOT the characters, though we may have liked to haha – no murderous thoughts indeed) and took turns (alternating) to randomly draw them.

We now present to you our reactions to our character combinations… at times cute or simply strange and others… just flat out disturbing. We hope you enjoy as we play matchmaker, putting our Sorting Hat abilities to the test and introducing poor characters to their very own doom (or their future fiance(e)s)! 

Disclaimer: Sarah blames Faith for most of these 😉

Round 1: Kell (Shades of Magic) & Levana (The Lunar Chronicles)

S: LMAO. WOW FAITH. Way to go. The very first draw is the match from hell. I got one thing to say about this:

F: WHAT EVEN IS THIS SORCERY?!! IT’S WITCHCRAF- no wait, Kell is a magician and Levana does have an uncanny ability… so technically… let’s not linger any longer on these torturous thoughts.

I ship this one as much as I ship the Argo 2 with the Titanic. PLEASE NO and I DON’T THINK IT WILL WORK. But it would be hilarious to see them try. I mean if Kell was of any importance to Levana, she’d sweet talk him easier than he can draw magical blood. At the same time, I kind of want their meeting to happen because if you think about it, they’re quite the worthy opponents. They’re both arrogant and Kell has pretty amazing abilities. I’d ship this just to see it.

S: Ok, so Faith basically wants a brawl. Way to go 😀

Round 2: Khalid (The Wrath and The Dawn) & Annabeth (Percy Jackson)

S: No offense to Sharazad… but Annabeth would kick his ass if he tried to pull that possessive shit. And Annabeth wouldn’t waste her time telling him stories. By the end of the first day, she would have had an escape plan XD (F: SO. MUCH. TRUTH.)

F: Annabeth wouldn’t stand him. He’s kind of clingy (in a sense) and if she ever had to tell him a bedtime story, she’d tell him about how Kronos ate his kids while sending out subtle hints that if he ever laid a hand on her, he’d have to say goodbye to her tolerating persona within a matter of seconds. Oh and of course, she’d be simultaneously plotting her breakout. Basically, what Sarah said but reiterated. 

Pretty accurate, I’ll say.

Round 3: Voldemort (Harry Potter) & Leo (Heroes of Olympus)





F: HAH. LEO THE POOR, POOR SOUL. He’d be captured, tortured, and turned into Voldy’s minion within seconds. BUT I’m sure Leo is smart enough to somehow manage himself… he’ll salvage random materials and build a contraption that would fly him far, far away to Camp Half Blood. Wow, I’m impressed, both the greatest villains are already out within the first three matches. 

Round 4: Lara Jean (P.S I Love You)) & Wolf (Lunar Chronicles)

S: I mean, Lara Jean didn’t deserve Peter, who was literally one of the nicest YA boys ever, so I’m personally hoping Wolf either kills her, or shakes some sense into this brat.

F: This pairing might work. But maybe Lara Jean is too naive for all of Wolf’s toughness. So maybe it won’t work. I can imagine this as some sort of tough love siblingship. 

Round 5: Ron (Harry Potter) & Piper

S: Faith strikes again. I can’t even imagine this, tbh



F: Uhh I really don’t know about this one. Would it…? Maybe? AHA! Their ship name would be Riper… so perhaps they would make a sweet PEAR after all! (Get it 😀 Pear = Pair? Hahaha okay nothing else to see here, moving on!)

Round 6: Warner (Shatter Me) & Calypso (Heroes of Olympus)

S: My bad.


F: Same, girl, same.

I’d love to see how that goes down. A complete and utter, scary prick and a sweetie like Calypso. RIP BABE.

F: Calypso should make a device to push creeps/undesirable guys off her island and it’ll basically be problem solved because chances are, they’ll never find her again. I’m not too much of a fan of this pairing. Eh. 

You know, I think I know why Warner is so Warner. It’s literally in his name! It’s a WARNer to all the girls out there… (too bad Juliette didn’t get the hint. 😛 I mean, yes, I’ve only read the first book but sometimes I’m like, “GIRL WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO- DO SOMETHING!!!”)

Round 7: Peter (P.S I Love You) & Eleanor (Eleanor and Park)


F: OH YES. I THINK THIS WOULD WORK. (Shouting because so far it seemed like the unlucky pairs were just being chosen by the hands of plain horrid- oh wait, it’s us.) Anyone else? Peter’s pretty nice and probably quite accepting of Eleanor’s quirkiness and she is somewhat timid and bold so this might make for an interesting story!

Round 8: Hermione (Harry Potter) &  Lila (Shades of Magic)

S: I honestly think this could go both ways: friendship and romantically. Both are strong, independant and BADASS gals, so I feel that they would have very amusing interactions.

F: Maybe they’d be best friends! Like homework and battle buddies. Lila would try to attempt using some sort of magical weapon and Hermoine would be like, “Noooo, you’re doing it all wrong!” and boss her around. Then when Lila has had enough of it, she would whip her head around viciously, and pull out one of her many knives saying, “Okay, FIGHT ME.” Perhaps Hermoine would roll her eyes and say something that continues to tick Lila off who will then stalk out of the room furious. 

But truthfully, I think Annabeth, Hermoine, and Lila NEED to be in a friend group together. It would be the ULTIMATE FRIENDSHIP. You’ve got all the brains and skills you could ever need!! They probably met at a camp called How To Be A Kickbutt Heroine which they had all secretly attended before their “current” lives. They’d share tips on how to fight and outsmart their way out of any meeting-death-on-a-cliff-in-the-face situation.

Otherwise, their personalities would clash because their competitive streaks would definitely reveal itself. All three of them would be the leading members at Camp How To Be A Kickbutt Heroine and they’d always find themselves in fights with each other as enemies. It’d be like the Parent Trap. You know, endless cabin pranks at night… except they wouldn’t be strutting around with a posse and a clique trailing from behind. No, they’re independent. They would be stalking the camp grounds with a bunch of magic in tow and knives/daggers strapped to their boots. They’d both be fighting like there’s no tomorrow.

Sorry, I MAY have slightly gotten out of hand over here. Hehehe… * laughter trails off dejectedly once again, as always *

Round 9: Achilles (The Song of Achilles) & Alucard (Shades of Magic)

S: Although I think Achilles and Patroclus are the only endgame, I think that this would work out… as a fling. Both these boys are flighty (and imo, need their own, devoted worshippers/other partner). The chemistry is there… but you need more than that for a prosperous relationship. (Look at me, giving relationship advice! XD ) (F: What you just said just reminded me of my anthropology stuff. You know, Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. YES PEOPLE, LOVE HAS A FORMULA.) 

Psychology 101: Essentially, what Sternberg is trying to prove is that consummate love is what you need for a successfully prosperous relationship/marriage. Something like that.

F: I haven’t read The Song of Achilles so I can’t really say. But Alucard is definitely a flirt AND he’s powerful so he would be able to work something out if he really wanted to.

Round 10: Agnieszka (Uprooted) & Thorne (Lunar Chronicles)

S: They’d make good friends and rule-breakers. But romantically? Naw.

F: Nopitty nope nope. Thorne is so arrogant though… he and Alucard would have a good time trying to out-arrogant each other. Though truthfully, Alucard would probably win because he’s wayyyyy over-confident and actually magically gifted… and he definitely knows it. Meanwhile, Thorne just tries to get the girls. Sorry man, but it’s a tough world out there trying to woo the girls without awesome magic. 

Round 11: Simon (Carry On) & Aristotle (Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe)

S: ERMIGHD THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE!!!! Simon would balance out Ari’s serious nature, and they would have so much fun! YES! (F: And Sarah’s little fangirl heart sings while flying off and disappearing into the sky. Thank me, Sarah. But is Aristotle like another non-evil Baz?)
F: I haven’t read Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe either sooooo I do not know. Only fate will tell. (For now, I’ll have to have faith in Sarah. Yes, I too, am screaming in agony form my own excessive and torturous use of my name. But. Sometimes, it’s too good to pass up even when it gets annoying. XD )

This marks the end of our first Sorting Hat post! We’ve realized that we didn’t actually say if we ripped or shipped anything but I guess we’re just too lazy to get off of our fence. 😛 And yes, we have ended at Round 11. Not 10, not 12, not even 9 (which is slightly better) but eleven. Maybe it’s because we’re feeling particularly feisty or maybe it’s because Sarah * ahem * randomly chose 11 rounds to post.

Either way, how did you feel about this? Who’s your ultimate ship? (Preferably something good. For example, not the Titanic because that’s one that definitely went down… pretty badly.) Thanks for joining! 🙂

~ Sarah & Faith

If you’re reading this, here’s a bag full of sunshine, rainbows, and smiles! But because we know that being overly positive is not always necessarily what you need, we’ve packed some chocolate too. And a warm drink. Just in case.

12 thoughts on “We’re The Sorting Hat: Rip It Or Ship It (Part 1)

  1. Jane Whittingham says:

    Wow…I’m old…I have no idea who most of these characters are….but at least I recognized where the gifs came from, so I guess all is not lost for me pop culturally (those a few of those TV shows are old, like me…..)! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hiraethforthepages says:

    oh my god, when I was reading this post and Wolf and Thorne popped up, I just had a major fangirl session. I mean, I’m only on Scarlet and I’ve only just seen them for a while at this point, but DAMNNNN they are just such adorable, charming, perfect men (which I’m starting to doubt Wolf is at the moment.. AHA LOVE HIM EITHER WAY). But I think you’re probably right, Thorne and Agneisika, friends probably but romantically? SHE BELONGS TO SARKAN GUYS.

    Aha, sadly I did not understand half of these ships because I am so out of the ‘cool zone’ and have not met half the characters (WHICH WILL CHANGE WHEN I READ A DARKER SHADE OF MAGIC MUHAHAHAH)

    Ultimate ship (and by the way, LOVED THAT WHOLE SHIP GOES DOWN THING ABOUT TITANIC. CAN WE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE PLEASE)? I think I will go with Dorian (Throne of Glass) and me. Or Fontaine (the Sky is Everywhere) and me. Or Wolf, or Thorne, or Kai or REALLY JUST ANY OF MY BOOK BOYFRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE MOST ADORABLE PERFECT CHARMING GUYS I NEED. I hope you see to it they are all delivered to my door madly in love with me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • sublimereads says:

      Wolf and Thorne are good but I’ll go with Kai. 😛 It’s just so you won’t have to be sad that we’ll have to share. Actually, I never would’ve wanted to anyway heh. Ahahahahaha SARKAN SCARED ME. I TOTALLY THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE DUMBLEDORE!!!! THE ENTIRE TIME I THOUGHT- anyway. So I was quite surprised and not to mention UBER DISTURBED at the end. I am STILL retching, barfing, vomiting, puking, hurling, and throwing it all up. (While some words need more words to describe it, some words seem to like having an excessive variety) Also, Dragon is just such a basic fairytale word. Like imagine there was a witch in the book and her name was “Fairy”. Or you’re reading about the Lunars but instead they’re called the “Aliens”. LOL. Like, seriously?? No offence and all….

      READ IT NOW. I AM CRYING OUT OF AGONY BECAUSE U HAVE NOT READ IT. Bear with me throughout the first book because maybe it’s meh. Wait for the second. THE CHARACTERS AND PLOT IS SO BOMB. Also, it’s probably too hot down there to be “cool” 😉

      Hehehe thanks. Glad someone still appreciates the puns hah. Actually, I’ve never read Throne of Glass or The Sky is Everywhere. Whoopsie? Like I’ve never read Sarah j. Maas! (Are the books as good as everyone says? I mean it’d better be.) I know. Unfortunately, the adorable perfect charming guys that you need don’t exist in real life but WHO CARES RIGHT?! * all the fangirls start to cry * Honestly, books give SO MANY MISCONCEPTIONS. Hahaha DO I LOOK LIKE A BOOK BOYFRIEND DELIVERY SYSTEM TO YOU?! Maybe that should be a thing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • hiraethforthepages says:

        AHA I’m sorry, you may find me AWFULLY and SELFISHLY selfish here, but Kai is also included in my long long list of perfect men to marry. I mean, EVERY SINGLE BOOK HAS ME FALLING MORE IN LOVE WITH EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. I think its become unhealthy at this point, I WANT THEM HERE WITH ME SO BAD RIGHT NOW. I really CANNOT imagine the HORRIDness that must have gone through your brain at that moment. While I was over here celebrating and fangirling like who-even-knows-what, I don’t even want to get a glimpse of what it was you were conjuring shivers AHA I had those imaginations in my head and yeah… that’s a little weird XD BUT DRAGON IS JUST PERFF CHILDREN (of course in his non-Dumbledore appearance that is)

        I AM CRYING OUT OF AGONY BECAUSE I HAVE NOT READ IT. I cannot even believe myself right now. My brain is chanting READ IT but I am massively restraining from purchasing any book (my book buying bans however have just been failing and there is likely chance I will succumb to the hole of my money pocket) and my library doesn’t have it so I MUST REQUEST LIKE A MADWOMAN. For you I will push through ANY obstacles I may encounter with the first book EVEN IF I HATE IT LIKE MAD (even though I doubt I will). I WILL LOVE IT AND WE WILL FANGIRL OVER THE BOOKS AND THE SHOW GUYS.

        I know there are SO MANY mixed feelings for the Throne of Glass series BUT I;M NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THAT IT IS DAMN FINE. I mean, there’s shipping a couple and then there’s just selling your soul to make that couple touch. ITS A SERIOUS PROBLEM. I need you to read it and I need you to understand my ship and my shipping feels or else I may fall in a deep dark pit of madness (which let me warn you, is not pretty). YES WHERE ARE ALL MY PERFECT MEN EXCUSE ME? It should definitely be a thing. I mean, I would work for that system – though of course I would get distracted by these beautiful wonderful people coming through that I may accidentally marry them all and leave none to everybody else. SORRY THAT I AM SIMPLY NOT SORRY FOR HAVING ALL THE LOVE FOR REALLY ANY WALKING CHARACTER IN ANY BOOK.

        Liked by 1 person

        • sublimereads says:


          IF U CAN’T READ IT I WILL SEND IT TO U FROM ACROSS THE WORLD. SERIOUSLY. GASPS. You know what, book bloggers should just send our own book boxes to each other and fill it with bookish stuff! But that’d be soooooooooo expensive. But then you could do a book unboxing and it’s like ahahaha check out what I have! It’d be cool. * wink wink nudge nudge * I’m joking. But it’s a nice thought. Cuz whenever I see those book box unboxings I’m like sighhhhh, I wishhhhhhhhhhhhh. Shipping costs are no joke.

          It’s all about the non-existent men ahhahaha. You’ll be like the emperor with no clothes. You be like: check out all my hubbies- aren’t they cute and nice and perfect??? People be like BUT WHERE. I DO NOT SEE THEM. ARE YOU DELUSIONAL??? You’re like, no way, here’s the marriage contracts!

          Liked by 1 person

          • hiraethforthepages says:


            OMG OMG for a second I was planning all the books and bookish boxes I could send and I was getting excited and my mine was bubbling with goodie stuff and then BAM reality set in. WHY ARE BOOKS EXPENSIVE ? WHY ARE MERCH EXPENSIVE? WHY IS SHIPPING EXPENSIVE? I can’t even get myself a monthly book box because MONEYYYY. You are right. Never laugh at shipping costs. They are no jokes. sighs That would have been LOVELYYYY.

            RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. I tell them I married and they just look at me like I’m a weirdo. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND PERFECT SPOUSE PEOPLE ARE ‘non-existent’ (I refuse to believe this statement however, THEY WILL SEE WHEN MY HUSBANDS AND WIVES COME TO LIFE). These people call me crazy when I point to the name of THE PERFECT PEOPLE in the books BUT THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.


  3. Marie @ drizzleandhurricanebooks says:

    Damn, ALL of your posts are just hilarious, HOW do you do this? I gasped at the first round, I mean, Kell and Levana (even if I have just read Cinder…for now), NO NO NO NO NO this can’t happen ever, ahah. But Peter and Eleanor, Simon and Aristotle, would make such cute couples, I think, I would ship those 😛
    Hermione and Lila, I can totally see those two being badass friends. YES PLEASE.


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